Blogging is not always fun!

I have struggled w/ my next blog for the past few days. Should I blog? Should some things be kept to myself? That is my question.
I started this whole blogging thing for 2 reasons. Reason 1 was for therapy. It's therapeutic to document my journey. Reason 2 was to document this journey. It's a roller coaster to say the least. As time passes I seem to forget drug amounts, times, & struggles. I want to remember this journey, no matter the outcome.
So, I decided that sometimes it's not fun to blog. Everything isn't encouraging, sometimes it's painful & hard.
On Monday Danny took in a semen sample for a semen analyst (s/a) & we got the results back on Wednesday. The count was awesome. So encouraging for us. Normal is 20 million & his was 91 million. That really did something for his ego. The motility (how many move) was normal. However, the morphility (the shape) was a little off. The average man has 12% normal sperm (morphility) & Danny's is 8%. They're not overly worried. Hey... I did get preg twice!
On Thursday I went back to the RE's office & saw Ms Devine (Dr Homm's PA) to discuss my follistim injections & get instructions. I knew they were expensive ($4000 a month), but insurance covers that, so I wasn't worried.
She started talking about IUI (insemination) to increase our chances of conceiving. The average couple has a 20% chance of conceiving in any given month. With the shots it increases to 25% & w/ IUI it would increase to about 30-33%.
We went to the business office to discuss costs. The IUI would cost us $1332 plus $150 for sperm prep. After Danny I left we discussed our options.
We had a few sticking points to consider:
A) We did get preg twice on clomid alone, so is there a need for IUI right now?
B) Would we be in God's will? If so, is this where we're being lead?
C) Cost.... do we want to spend that money right now? We would want to save for it rather than putting it on a credit card.
After much discussing, we came to the conclusion we'd do just the injections for a couple months & if they don't work out then we'll move on to either the IUI or adoption, depending on where God leads us.
The RE's office called to say that my ins (medco) won't pay for the follistim (I had already gotten it approved), but would pay for medopur injections. I was told it was the same.
Later that night the fertility pharmacy called to put my order in & get my injections to me. My total cost for the injections, endo cream, HCG trigger shot, sharps container, & the needles would be $152.88. We were pleasantly surprised & I paid w/ my debit card over the phone.
After hanging up, I told Danny I'd call the RE on Fri (today). He was looking through my folder filled w/ info from the Dr's office. Then... it happened.....
We realized that the IUI does cost the $1332+, but even for the timed intercourse method it was $1120 to cover the office visits, ultrasounds, & estradiols. That was not what we were expecting. So, now we're in limbo. Our only option is to save for the next couple months to be able to pay for it.
I'm so heart broken. I don't know what to do. It's hard b/c I became so excited & now we're back to square one.
So, that's my update!