My purse

Last night as I was blogging & reading other blogs that mean so much to me, Danny asked if I'd blogged about my purse. HMMM... funny question, I mean I love my purse , but enough to blog about it?
I rolled my eyes & went on reading the other blogs. I went to a blog, that I have been following for quite some time. It's a wonderfully God fearing lady who has been through so much & I feel like we're best friends. One of her latest blogs just happen to have a pic of her Coach bag. Now, this caught my attention.
You see, I've been wanting a Coach purse for a long time. I've wanted one every Christmas & birthday for the past few years. My problem was I couldn't find one that I wanted badly enough to pay that much money for.
For Mother's Day & my birthday, Danny gave me money to spend however I want. I was having trouble finding clothes that fitted me, were my style, etc. I was walking through the mall alone one day & stopped in Coach. I fell in love w/ their new line of bags.
Long story short, I am now the proud owner of a Coach bag!
Her entry wasn't about showing off her new bag, but about sacrifices & a lesson God put in front of her for her 3 little girls.
Something she said really made me think. She said that she knows God cares more about her & how she lives her life than what kind of purse she carries. She doesn't believe owning a Coach bag makes her less of a Christian, nor does it make her a better one.
I love my new bag, it's so cute, so pink, & mine. I don't have to share it w/ diapers, Hot Wheels, & sippy cups. I get it all to myself. That is nice, but what was better was the reality check of her blog.
So, in short I got a new purse! HAHA

We've adopted!

OK, so maybe that title is a little misleading. But, we have adopted... we adopted a soldier. I am so excited!!
He is stationed in Kuwait & I will be his 'angel' during his deployment.
He has emailed me once to thank me for caring enough to sign up for this. I emailed him back, have written a small letter & sent him a package.
His care package isn't much, b/c I'm not really sure what all he likes, wants, & needs. I sent some trail mix, baby wipes, toothpaste, toothbrush, raisins, tissues, gum, & some other misc items.
I also sent a little survey that asks all kinds of questions about himself & what he has access to & likes. I had downloaded it from the site I signed up for.
I had been looking for a way to pen pal & support our troops that were over seas. Every outreach I found allowed me to send packages or make donations, but none allowed me to know my soldier. I believe w/ all my heart that God has lead me to him. It's exactly what I need to keep me busy & my mind off babies.
I'm also so excited that I can be his prayer warrior! That makes me happy knowing that I'm committing to pray for him every chance I get to go before the Lord. That is so humbling!
I checked the temp in Kuwait for tomorrow & it's going to be 106! SHEWWW.... I guess I have less to complain about than I thought.
If anyone would like to get involved w/ this outreach, please email me. I'd love to share the details w/ you. Also, if you can't commit to sending care packages, they need people to write letters to the troop while they wait to be adopted.

Long time, no blog....

So as usual, it's been awhile since my last blog. I have so much in my head I want to say, to document, to remember.... it's fleeting & I find it hard to put pen to paper (if you will).
On May 21st we should have been celebrating a very exciting time in our lives. In a perfect world we'd be in the hospital w/ our new baby. Instead it was a very sad day for us. Danny stayed home w/ Davis & me, which was really nice. A very dear sweet friend ordered a beautiful peace lily from a local florist for us.
That potted plant was exactly what I needed. When someone asks me how they can be praying for me, which I think is one of the sweetest questions anyone can ask, I ask that they pray for our peace. Peace w/ possibly having only 1 child, peace w/ the fertility options laid out in front of us, & peace w/ the option of adopting.
My hardest days are when some unknowing excited friend or neighbor announces so happily that that are having a baby. I smile & try to remember to say 'congrats', but leave feeling sad.
I'm trying my hardest to be patient, find peace, & work through these issues. I can say that I am so happy for my friends who are pregnant. I love to share in their joy & can't wait to meet the babies. It's just hard when the news is broken to me. Once I have time to process the info & have a good cry, I'm OK.
Hopefully the next entry won't be so far between.... Till then

Some Aunts should just stay away...

Early this morning around 1 am my least favorite aunt came for a visit. There had been warning signs, so my body was expecting her. I guess I should have called my heart.
For some reason, this is one of the hardest non pregnant cycles yet. It's been over 2 years that we've been actively trying for a baby to bring home. This was our last chance for a 2008 baby. I'm getting closer to that big 3-0. Davis is getting so big & maturing so fast. These are all reasons why my heart is breaking so bad this cycle. I just KNEW w/ everything in me we would bring a baby home in December.
Yesterday I was doing some spring cleaning to keep my mind off things. Danny & Davis were outside doing whatever it is that boys do. I kept listing to Mercy Me 'Bring On The Rain'. In the song he sings:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I just kept listing to that song & crying. I want so badly His glory over my desire, but this is so hard.
A guy Danny works with told him for me to just relax.......Yea, we tried that, didn't work! NEXT IDEA? I'm not sure if I've said this before, but if someone has cancer do you tell them to relax? No, b/c they have a medical condition that a bubble bath won't help, guess what? So do I.
Also, to add to my day, I checked in on another girl's infertility blog I browse from time to time. Well, she's no longer barren. Deep in my heart I'm happy for her, happy for this experience she's going through. But, when I read it all I could do is cry!
For now, if you could, please pray for peace. I'm just want peace.

Spring time

There are ways you can tell spring is here... Easter lilies bloom, short sleeves come out of the attic, & lawn mowers come out of the garage. But, to me the declaration of spring is grass stains! We went to the park to play & came home with proof of the changing season!
I love this time of year. Everything is so fresh. Everywhere you look are pinks, yellows, polka dots, & floral patterns. The smell of fresh rain, the breeze from the open window are what makes this season so great to me.
I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but in the Barnes' house it's the same old story, just a different day & a higher dose of clomid.
With each month on clomid I experience symptoms worse than the previous month. The depression really hit me hard this cycle & it's been hard to blog b/c nothing is new.
I posted a pic of Davis, Jake, & Josh on Easter. They are such handsome little guys & have so much fun together.
I want to post more pics, so I'll be back this weekend for a more detailed blog.

Davis turns 3!!

I

Our little baby turned 3 years old. We just can't believe how time flies.
We celebrated with a birthday party at Kazoing Party & Play. Davis had lots of friends & family join us to help make his day special.
He's been seeing other kids w/ these hand held games & he was very interested in them. He received some gift cards for his birthday, so we got him a Leapster hand hand game. He looks like such a big boy as he races Lighting McQueen around the course. I just get amazed watching him play.
Our lives have changed so much over the past 3 years. Parenthood really makes you see all the important things in life. We are so thankful for our little guy & wouldn't trade him for all the money in the world.
I know all parents think that their child is smart, but man Davis is so smart. He catches on to things so quickly. His memory amazes us.
One thing he does is sing 'In my life' by The Beatles. I'm going to try & get video of it & post it to share w/ everyone. It's so cute!

The stitch comes out!

Today Danny took Davis to see Dr Jill to get his 1 little stitch taken out. I choose not to go b/c I'm watching the Mia & Cole (my cousin's 6 month old twins). I also thought it would be fun for Daddy & Davis to get some time together.
Davis & I talked about what was going to happen before the visit. We talked about how Dr Jill would take that 1 stitch out to make his nose all better. How Dr Jill would look into his eyes (he's been blinking like his eyes are dry) & how she'd look in his ears (I'm paranoid when it comes to ear infections). Davis was such a big boy! No tears or anything. I think he did better than his Mommy would have if she had to have stitches removed.
Davis now weighs 32 lbs! WOW! He's ready for a big boy booster seat. We've been letting him sit in one that I had for a little girl I was babysitting for b/c I had weighed him at home & knew he was over 30 lbs. He's excited to be in this big boy stage. Maybe he'll get a new booster seat for his birthday!
As for his eyes, Jill said it was allergies & gave him Zaditor rx eye drops to help w/ the dryness. He already takes Singulair for his allergies.
The whole eye thing has been a drama for us, too. Last Sunday we noticed the blinking was getting worse & Papaw even questioned what was going on. I became paranoid & called Pediatric Acute Care. They told me he was probably having eye seizures & theres nothing they can do. We should see our pediatrician & she'll send him to a neurologist. OK, SERIOUSLY? Was that needed? I mean I'm already paranoid, why feed it? I called Jill as soon as I hung up. She said that's not at all what she would have suspected & to watch him. If it gets worse, then bring him in. She was hesitate to have us come in b/c of flu season. She said we'd leave w/ a lot more than we came with. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became!
For those of you who don't know, I was a Nanny for Jill up until around October of this year. I wanted to be home w/ Davis full time. She's our pediatrician, I wonder what I would do if I didn't have her as my personal on call DR!
Tomorrow is Little D's 3rd birthday! I'm so excited for him as we have a fun filled day planned. I'm a nut w/ birthdays & think they should always be a big deal. We are so THANKFUL to God for not only giving us this wonderful little guy, but allowing us to nourish, love, & teach him for the past 3 years. It's an amazing charge & we're honored to have it.
The picture is Davis in the Dr's office w/ his sucker after he got his stitch out.