We've adopted!

OK, so maybe that title is a little misleading. But, we have adopted... we adopted a soldier. I am so excited!!
He is stationed in Kuwait & I will be his 'angel' during his deployment.
He has emailed me once to thank me for caring enough to sign up for this. I emailed him back, have written a small letter & sent him a package.
His care package isn't much, b/c I'm not really sure what all he likes, wants, & needs. I sent some trail mix, baby wipes, toothpaste, toothbrush, raisins, tissues, gum, & some other misc items.
I also sent a little survey that asks all kinds of questions about himself & what he has access to & likes. I had downloaded it from the site I signed up for.
I had been looking for a way to pen pal & support our troops that were over seas. Every outreach I found allowed me to send packages or make donations, but none allowed me to know my soldier. I believe w/ all my heart that God has lead me to him. It's exactly what I need to keep me busy & my mind off babies.
I'm also so excited that I can be his prayer warrior! That makes me happy knowing that I'm committing to pray for him every chance I get to go before the Lord. That is so humbling!
I checked the temp in Kuwait for tomorrow & it's going to be 106! SHEWWW.... I guess I have less to complain about than I thought.
If anyone would like to get involved w/ this outreach, please email me. I'd love to share the details w/ you. Also, if you can't commit to sending care packages, they need people to write letters to the troop while they wait to be adopted.

Long time, no blog....

So as usual, it's been awhile since my last blog. I have so much in my head I want to say, to document, to remember.... it's fleeting & I find it hard to put pen to paper (if you will).
On May 21st we should have been celebrating a very exciting time in our lives. In a perfect world we'd be in the hospital w/ our new baby. Instead it was a very sad day for us. Danny stayed home w/ Davis & me, which was really nice. A very dear sweet friend ordered a beautiful peace lily from a local florist for us.
That potted plant was exactly what I needed. When someone asks me how they can be praying for me, which I think is one of the sweetest questions anyone can ask, I ask that they pray for our peace. Peace w/ possibly having only 1 child, peace w/ the fertility options laid out in front of us, & peace w/ the option of adopting.
My hardest days are when some unknowing excited friend or neighbor announces so happily that that are having a baby. I smile & try to remember to say 'congrats', but leave feeling sad.
I'm trying my hardest to be patient, find peace, & work through these issues. I can say that I am so happy for my friends who are pregnant. I love to share in their joy & can't wait to meet the babies. It's just hard when the news is broken to me. Once I have time to process the info & have a good cry, I'm OK.
Hopefully the next entry won't be so far between.... Till then

Some Aunts should just stay away...

Early this morning around 1 am my least favorite aunt came for a visit. There had been warning signs, so my body was expecting her. I guess I should have called my heart.
For some reason, this is one of the hardest non pregnant cycles yet. It's been over 2 years that we've been actively trying for a baby to bring home. This was our last chance for a 2008 baby. I'm getting closer to that big 3-0. Davis is getting so big & maturing so fast. These are all reasons why my heart is breaking so bad this cycle. I just KNEW w/ everything in me we would bring a baby home in December.
Yesterday I was doing some spring cleaning to keep my mind off things. Danny & Davis were outside doing whatever it is that boys do. I kept listing to Mercy Me 'Bring On The Rain'. In the song he sings:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I just kept listing to that song & crying. I want so badly His glory over my desire, but this is so hard.
A guy Danny works with told him for me to just relax.......Yea, we tried that, didn't work! NEXT IDEA? I'm not sure if I've said this before, but if someone has cancer do you tell them to relax? No, b/c they have a medical condition that a bubble bath won't help, guess what? So do I.
Also, to add to my day, I checked in on another girl's infertility blog I browse from time to time. Well, she's no longer barren. Deep in my heart I'm happy for her, happy for this experience she's going through. But, when I read it all I could do is cry!
For now, if you could, please pray for peace. I'm just want peace.

Spring time

There are ways you can tell spring is here... Easter lilies bloom, short sleeves come out of the attic, & lawn mowers come out of the garage. But, to me the declaration of spring is grass stains! We went to the park to play & came home with proof of the changing season!
I love this time of year. Everything is so fresh. Everywhere you look are pinks, yellows, polka dots, & floral patterns. The smell of fresh rain, the breeze from the open window are what makes this season so great to me.
I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but in the Barnes' house it's the same old story, just a different day & a higher dose of clomid.
With each month on clomid I experience symptoms worse than the previous month. The depression really hit me hard this cycle & it's been hard to blog b/c nothing is new.
I posted a pic of Davis, Jake, & Josh on Easter. They are such handsome little guys & have so much fun together.
I want to post more pics, so I'll be back this weekend for a more detailed blog.

Davis turns 3!!

I

Our little baby turned 3 years old. We just can't believe how time flies.
We celebrated with a birthday party at Kazoing Party & Play. Davis had lots of friends & family join us to help make his day special.
He's been seeing other kids w/ these hand held games & he was very interested in them. He received some gift cards for his birthday, so we got him a Leapster hand hand game. He looks like such a big boy as he races Lighting McQueen around the course. I just get amazed watching him play.
Our lives have changed so much over the past 3 years. Parenthood really makes you see all the important things in life. We are so thankful for our little guy & wouldn't trade him for all the money in the world.
I know all parents think that their child is smart, but man Davis is so smart. He catches on to things so quickly. His memory amazes us.
One thing he does is sing 'In my life' by The Beatles. I'm going to try & get video of it & post it to share w/ everyone. It's so cute!

The stitch comes out!

Today Danny took Davis to see Dr Jill to get his 1 little stitch taken out. I choose not to go b/c I'm watching the Mia & Cole (my cousin's 6 month old twins). I also thought it would be fun for Daddy & Davis to get some time together.
Davis & I talked about what was going to happen before the visit. We talked about how Dr Jill would take that 1 stitch out to make his nose all better. How Dr Jill would look into his eyes (he's been blinking like his eyes are dry) & how she'd look in his ears (I'm paranoid when it comes to ear infections). Davis was such a big boy! No tears or anything. I think he did better than his Mommy would have if she had to have stitches removed.
Davis now weighs 32 lbs! WOW! He's ready for a big boy booster seat. We've been letting him sit in one that I had for a little girl I was babysitting for b/c I had weighed him at home & knew he was over 30 lbs. He's excited to be in this big boy stage. Maybe he'll get a new booster seat for his birthday!
As for his eyes, Jill said it was allergies & gave him Zaditor rx eye drops to help w/ the dryness. He already takes Singulair for his allergies.
The whole eye thing has been a drama for us, too. Last Sunday we noticed the blinking was getting worse & Papaw even questioned what was going on. I became paranoid & called Pediatric Acute Care. They told me he was probably having eye seizures & theres nothing they can do. We should see our pediatrician & she'll send him to a neurologist. OK, SERIOUSLY? Was that needed? I mean I'm already paranoid, why feed it? I called Jill as soon as I hung up. She said that's not at all what she would have suspected & to watch him. If it gets worse, then bring him in. She was hesitate to have us come in b/c of flu season. She said we'd leave w/ a lot more than we came with. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became!
For those of you who don't know, I was a Nanny for Jill up until around October of this year. I wanted to be home w/ Davis full time. She's our pediatrician, I wonder what I would do if I didn't have her as my personal on call DR!
Tomorrow is Little D's 3rd birthday! I'm so excited for him as we have a fun filled day planned. I'm a nut w/ birthdays & think they should always be a big deal. We are so THANKFUL to God for not only giving us this wonderful little guy, but allowing us to nourish, love, & teach him for the past 3 years. It's an amazing charge & we're honored to have it.
The picture is Davis in the Dr's office w/ his sucker after he got his stitch out.

It's a first....

Tonight as we are in the final stretch of being 2, we had yet another first!!
Davis received his 1st stitch!
Danny & Davis were playing forts in Davis' room & I was in my bathroom. Davis told Daddy he was going to go kiss Bowie 'night night' & would 'be right back'. I heard a growl, a louder growl & then a bark. Davis started crying. Now this isn't too abnormal b/c the dogs & Davis fight a lot & we hear these sounds.
This was a little different b/c his cry wasn't as dramatic as usual. I ran in there & he was holding his face. Bowie nipped his nose.
We weren't even sure we needed to go to the ER. I called Pediatric Acute Care & they suggested we go to either Baptist Hospital East (if they have a Pediatrician on staff tonight) or Kosair Children's Hospital. I called BHE & they do have a Ped on staff in the ER at all times.
Little D cried most of the way there. He kept saying "I don't go to DR" & "I don't wike hopital". He said "I feel better, Mommy". My heart was breaking, but I'm more of a 'better to be safe than sorry' type of gal.
We got to the ER & was taken back to the Ped ER pretty quickly. The nurse who saw him didn't think he would need any stitches. A few other nurses came in to see him & check out his nose. One of them asked what happened & he was so cute I could cry! He said "playin' fort w/ Daddy, gotta give Bow kisses in blue room, he bite me". I couldn't have explained it any better.
He was such a trooper. When the Dr came in he decided that he would feel better if he had just 1 stitch. I asked about the glue stitches, but b/c of bacteria w/ a bite he prefers to do the regular stitch.
They had to put some numbing solution on his nose & let it sit for 15 mins before doing the stitch. Davis did so well, during all this.
When they came to do the stitch, Mommy didn't do as well. My poor baby only cried for a second & then they were done.
When we got home & things were settled & I was tucking him in bed I told him how proud I am of him & what a big boy he is. He said "Mommy, I cried". It just broke my heart. I asked if he cried b/c it hurt & he said "Yes, my nose". I said, it's OK even big boys cry when it hurts!
One of the ER techs gave him a stuffed zebra & we named him 'stitch'. He slept w/ him tonight!