The last week of summer....

Yes, I know that officially summer hasn't ended. However, for my house, it kinda is.

This is the last week of summer break. Next week, my baby boy heads to kindergarten.

I have had to most difficult time with this. I have cried & cried. More than any mother should. I mean, I've had 5 years to prepare for this day, right?

I've spent over a year researching schools, talking to parents, principals, & teachers. We've visited public, traditional, & private schools. We've been interviewed to see if we were 'good fits' for the school. Heard terms like 'reading ready' & 'cluster'. I've walked a many a hallway the past few months. I've filled out applications, been disappointed, angry, excited, & scared all at the same time.

My heart is breaking as I sit here writing this post & I'm not sure I really know why. I went to Kindergarten... you went to kindergarten. We survived!

I just want to yell "stop" & pull him back & pretend this was all a dream. I need one more year... But, he doesn't. He is 'reading ready'. He is kindergarten ready. He wants to ride a school bus. He wants to make new friends.

Maybe, I know some control is being lost in this new world we're entering. I'm not the one who has all the answers. I'm not the one who gets to make all the decisions. I can't fully protect him anymore.

I just pray that God protects his little heart & mind from things he isn't ready to learn & prepares him for the things he needs to learn.

I have said for years that I'd never home school. Now that idea doesn't seem so crazy to me.