Saturday, February 23, 2008

Before I was a Mom

I read this in an adoption newsletter that I get & wanted to share....

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plans were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind & thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes & cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know the bond between a mother & her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important & happy.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure everything
was okay.
I had never knows the warmth, joy, love, heartache, wonderment, or satisfaction of being a

I can relate to so much of this. Being Davis' Mommy is the most important job I'll ever have.

When we had Davis we knew he was a miracle. All babies are a gift from our Father & are miracles, but we knew this baby needed something extra to get here. We are now realizing what a miracle he is. My body may never create another baby b/c it's broken. I haven't blogged much b/c this is hard for me & I don't know what to say. I know I've shut down about talking about it b/c I don't know what is going to happen. I can say that Danny & I are talking about adoption & praying about what to do next.

No comments: