Christmas & bedtime

OH, so it's officially come & gone.  Christmas!  

We had a wonderful time visiting w/ friends & family this past week.  

Looking back at Christmas 2008, I can truly say we had a wonderful Christmas!  Davis received everything he asked for (except Wild Banchee, he was unable to be found), Daddy got tons of clothes, I received my laptop & a few wonderful unexpected gifts, & we were able to give gifts to the ones we loved.  But, most importantly we had a great time w/, my family & the Barnes family.  We were able to catch up & let Davis know his cousins a little better.  

I am so thankful for our family, friends, all we have, but most importantly I am so very thankful for Jesus!  I'm thankful that Jesus loves me right where I am!  I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not or change the world to be something it's just not.  I can believe in Santa, carry a Coach purse, & watch Grey's Anantomy, & still be loved by Jesus!  

Right now it's bedtime in the Barnes' house.  Davis is asleep.  Once 5 pm hits, this is the time of day I look forward to.  This is 'me time'.  I get so exhausted & can't wait for bedtime for Davis.  So, I can catch up on tv, blog, or play wii.  Once I know he's asleep, I go in & check on him.  He looks so sweet asleep & then I start missing him.  I miss loving on him, playing games, learning new songs, the endless questions of 'why', & waiting for the next funny thing he'll say.  I can't wait to spend another day w/ him..... and then I'll get some me time again!

Oh, one more thing.... this picture is one of my failed attempts at our Christmas card this year.  We were trying to get Davis, Bowie, & Annabelle in the pic.  For some reason our Annabelle wanted to play more than she wanted to have her picture made!

Christmas Musical

Last weekend was the annual Christmas musical at our church.  This year it was a joint effort with the choir, praise team, youth, & children's choir.  It was up in the air for awhile whether the cubbies (3 & 4 year olds) would even get to sing.  Well, they did (sort of) & I have pics to prove it!  There were 2 performances, one on Saturday night & one on Sunday night.  To me, the 2nd night went off much smoother.  I think the kiddos even had fun.

The 1st pic is from Sunday night.  It really looks like he was singing his little heart out.  In reality, I think he was asking for candy or Spencer!  That's the only way I could get him up there & to participate w/o using his candle as a weapon (gun, light saber, you name it).

The other 2 are from Saturday.  He looked handsome, but was a bit overwhelmed w/ the people & the singing!  

Christmas With Friends

Last Friday Davis had 2 friends over to celebrate Christmas with him.  

Nora & Spencer came over & they made their own pizzas, made cookies w/ sprinkles, played, played, & played.

They had so much fun & were really good kids.  We may have to try this again.  
Here are some pics from the night.  

Not Me! Monday

One of my favorite bloggers is encouraging her readers to start a 'Not Me! Monday'.    This is an opportunity to be brutally honest, show our imperfections in an inperfect world.  So, here goes what I DID NOT do this week!

I DID NOT skip naptime for my 3 year old, so I could get some Christmas shopping done at the mall today.

I DID NOT dread w/ every ounce of my being going to the second night of the Christmas program at church last night!  Watching Davis sing (dance, use the candle as a light saber, choke Parker, etc) was more than I wanted to bear.  However, it turned out great & I left full.

I DID NOT feed Davis 'sneaky ice cream' that I made & convince it him was actually a treat.  Seriously, the best cookbook I own is 'The Sneaky Chef'.

I DID NOT break off a piece of wooden spoon in said ice cream & unknowingly give it to my 3 year old.

I DID NOT blow up my blender making this sneaky ice cream I speak of.  NOT ME!

I DID NOT even consider searching Danny's closet for my Christmas presents while he slept.

I DID NOT send my son to time out w/o even getting my lazy behind off the couch.

I DID NOT lie to my dear sweet husband about why I went to the mall today & what I bought.  HEY, he'll figure it out on Christmas morning, right?

I DID NOT make a hundred excuses why I can't use the eliptical machine this week.  I DID NOT use it a total of 0 times!

I DID NOT just blog about all my sins of the week.

Free Redbox rentals

There's not a whole lot going on in the Barnes' house right now.  I do want to share about Davis' Christmas program & post pics when I figure out how to get them on the laptop.  

However, I do want to share this info I stumbled on today.  Redbox is giving away free rentals at Wal-Mart on the next 3 Sundays.  When you go just use the following codes.

12/21/08 - 11MOMS4UN 

12/28/08 - 11MOMS4UT 

01/04/09 - 11MOMS4UA

Twitter

I just figured this 'twitter' business out a week or so ago... now I just figured out how to add it to my blog!  Feel free to follow me & if you twitter, I'd love to follow you!  

Davis had friends over tonight to play.  He invited Nora, Spencer, & Amelia (she couldn't make it) & they are having a grand old time!  They made homemade pizzas & then make sugar cookies. Spencer just left & Nora & Davis are still playing.  I'll get some pictures posted once my house calms down.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just wanted to make a quick post to wish all my readers (I say that w/ a smile) a very Happy Thanksgiving. I hope everyone enjoys time w/ family & friends.
As for our family, we'll be spending time together enjoying good food. Anyone who has ever eaten at my Nanny's is probably jealous right now!
I thought about posting about all that I'm thankful for, but the list is way to long to even start. My family has been very blessed this year. We are healthy, have plenty of food to eat, a warm bed to sleep at night, & each other.
I am thankful for a wonderful husband & beautiful son.
I am thankful for where the Lord has put me during this season of my life. I get to spend 1-2 days a week w/ 15 month old twin babies who are so cute! Mia & Cole keep me busy, but are so much fun. Then, 4 days a week I get to keep a 11 month little girl named Taylor. Ohh, you'd fall in love w/ her instantly. She is one of the most happiest babies are the planet & Davis is in love w/ her. I get my baby fix & my nights are a little easier!
I am thankful for all I have & all I get! But most of all I am thankful for what I don't get. I am thankful I don't get what I deserve. I derserve helll. (Romans 3:23) I am thankful that Jesus died on the cross & paid the price for my sin. (Mark 15) Thank you Jesus!
On a side note- One of my favorite blogs is having a giveaway. Check out her website to win a really cute boutique diaper bag. http://frugalmommyof2girls.blogspot.com/2008/11/layla-grayce-giveaway.html

Shopping season is here

Today, I offically started my Christmas shopping.  I found these really cute things for Davis' preshool teachers & just had to get them.  It's handpainted & personalized, so I wanted to get my order in sooner rather than later!  I won't share what they are just in case they are readers of my oh, so popular blog! HAHA

Welcome Theodore Brian!

I just want to make a quick post & welcome baby H! Theodore Brian was born last night (Halloween) at 11:45 pm. He is such a cutie. Mommy, Daddy, & baby are doing well. Please say a prayer for them & thank God for this wonderful addition
Aunt Amie loves her baby Teddy!

The Things I Do For A Friend

Today, my sweet dear friend Lisa asked me to do something I don't normally do- JAZZERCISE! Let's just say Lisa & I used to be friends!
I met up w/ her against my body screaming "NO NO NO". It was a 50 minute class. I felt so silly & uncool trying to keep up w/ these ladies who obviously have been there before. I was sweating more than I do when I run & ready to quit way before the 50 minute class was up.
This involved dance moves, jumps, lunges, & other moves that my mind is trying to repress at this very moment. Anyone who knows me, knows my coordination & knows I should have stayed home. Well, one of you should have called me today around 3:30!

Lisa being the athlete that she is signed up for 3 months!  I left thinking "What a waste of my time!  It's a beautiful day, I could have been running."  I'm sure I was good entertainment for the instructor & the lady who was behind me.  I looked awful as I tried to do these moves.  A few times the instructor said "don't think about it so hard" & I'm sure she was looking directly at me!  Now, as I sit & blog about my experience I am so sore I can't move to the couch to watch tv w/ Danny.  I tried to call Lisa to officially end our friendship, but she didn't answer.  I left a voice mail!!  She did email me moments ago to tell me she didn't answer b/c she is too sore to get off the couch.  I had to smile!  

Will I go back?  Hmmm.... that's yet to be determined.  Being sore lets me know I did something good, right?  

Run Mommy Run

I've recently started running again. One thing I'm discovering is that I like to run more in theory than in reality. It's a love/hate relationship w/ a lot more hate than anything else. I do truly love to run when I'm doing it. I also hate to run while I'm doing it! I love how it makes me feel right after a run. I love the soreness it brings to my body. It lets me know I'm doing something good. What I hate is the way I struggle to breath while I run.... no seriously! Sometimes, I actually have to think about breathing. This may come to a big surprise to all, but I'm NOT athletic in any sense of the word. The fact that I have run a 5K & a mini is amazing to me. I want to be a runner, I want to run, I want to be athletic, I want to be healthy!
I know people who run w/ no ipod or music of any sorts. My friend Sarah told me that it's the only quite she gets in her day. She's a mother to 2 young girls, so I know where she's coming from. I also hear other people say they enjoy the sounds of the world around them. As of now, I've only ran w/ my MP3 player. Danny & I have been looking at an ipod touch for me, so I doubt I'll be running to the sounds of nature any time soon.
Sunday when I ran after evening services it was cold. The air hurt my lungs. My legs ached, I didn't dress warm enough, & I was hungry. With all that said, it was one of the most wonderful times w/ Jesus. I let my music just play whatever song comes up. I have a wide variety of music on there, from Johnny Cash, The Beatles, Hank JR, George Strait, Elvis, & Nickleback. On this particular run, it was all beautiful Christian music. It was a great time of worship as I ran. I am looking for more to add to my song list. If anyone has any songs they'd like to suggest, please leave them in the comment section.

World's Largest Halloween Party

We've had a real busy weekend. On Friday, we went to Sake Blue to celebrate Papaw's birthday. It's a new Japanese Restaurant here in the 'ville. My family & I love the hibachi grill & sushi (some more than others). It was a little different than what we were used to, but yummy none the less.
On Saturday, we ventured out to the zoo for the World's Largest Halloween Party. It was so packed. The weather was great! It was just a little cool, to remind you it is fall, but warm enough to walk around w/ a sweatshirt.
Davis didn't know what to think of all the costumes at first. He kept telling me it was 'pretend'. I think he was looking for reassurance his self. GJ & Grandpa joined us & we had a really good time.
Sunday at church we had a wonderful guest preacher. He has preached at our church previously. I left this Sunday feeling fed & loved it! He's a professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.
For the past few days Davis has been complaining of mild stomach pain. I had given him some Children's Gas-X on Saturday & that seemed to do the trick. On Sunday he complained a bit, so I didn't give it more thought. On Monday evening he started complaining once again. I kept encouraging him to go potty. He finally did, but once he was done he started complaining once again of stomach pain. I gave him some 'Little Tummies' children's laxative to see if that was the problem.
Davis & I left to go bowl at our church league & Danny went off to play basketball.
While we were bowling, Davis just wasn't acting 'right'. He was fussy & complaining of stomach pains. When it was time to go, he wouldn't walk out. I had to carry him to the car & into the house once we arrived.
We went straight to his room, so I could take his temp & evaluate the situation. Davis hit the floor & starting crying in pain. He wouldn't move & screamed when I touch his ears to take his temp. I called our pediatrician's after hours line & was advised to bring him in.
I'm sure most of you know that Danny lost his cell phone a week ago Sunday. I was unable to get in touch w/ him to let him know what was going on. So, I left a post-it on the counter & headed out the door w/ my little guy. He was in so much pain he wouldn't stop crying. He cried all the way to Pediatric Acute Care on Poplar Level Rd. We were seen rather quickly, which was a relief.
However, our visit w/ the Doctor went even quicker. He looked in his ears & said he had an ear infection. He walked over to start writing a rx, when I asked about the stomach pain. He touched his belly & said it was a side effect of the ear infection.
Now, I'm no Doctor, but I walked out of there very concerned & just not feeling this was right. So, I called Jill (our pediatrician) on her cell. I was her Nanny for a couple years. She didn't think it made any sense either, but gave me some great advice. She told me to give him a suppository & see if he has a bm. If so, his stomach pain should go away, if not call her office today.
So far, he has not complained of any stomach pain. We seem to be able to keep the fever under control. His little ears do hurt, but w/ Tylenol & Motrin we're keeping the pain at bay.

Annual Trip To Huber's

A few weeks ago the Barnes & the Holloway families took their annual trip to Huber's Pumpkin patch. This has been a real trip for us the past few years. It's so much fun to see how the boys have grown each year. It's a fun way to mark them growing up.
For example, last year Davis rode this little train ride (little carts pulled by a tractor, painted like a cow), he called it the cow train. It takes the kids on a little ride around behind the barns & inflatables. Davis was able to ride it b/c you have to be old enough to ride alone. This year Spencer was also able to join the fun & ride along.

We've tweaked our visits each year. The first year we went into the restaurant to eat. It was good food, but stressful b/c we had 2 small children (Spencer was 3 months old & Davis was 16 months old). The following year we decided to eat at the grill outside. We had hot dogs & chips. It was pricey & not very good. Plus Davis doesn't eat hot dogs. This year we stopped at KFC & brought our own picnic. That seemed to work out well for everyone. I think we'll do that again next year.
We had a really good time & the boys picked out some really nice pumpkins. Davis, of course, wanted the biggest one he could find.

REWIND

OK, I just realized I never posted about Davis' 1st day of school. We had a wonderful day planned to make sure his 1st day was special.  
We started our morning w/ a trip to McD's.  We thought it would be a treat to have breakfast out for his first day.  However, all Davis could do was rush us through breakfast b/c he didn't want to miss school.  It was cute!
We pulled into school & he walked right in.  He was a bit nervous, but we had prepared him for this day for the past few months.  He never cried.... I can't say the same about myself!
He only went for 1 hour that first day.  We picked him up  & took him to waterfront park downtown & had lunch at Tumbleweed on the river.
Just as a side note- he still loves school & even Mommy is starting to like it! HAHA

Davis Earns His Keep

Finally, Davis is earning his keep around here! You see, normally when Danny cuts our grass, Davis follows him around w/ his little lawn mower. Today, Davis insisted on using Daddy's 'mawn mower' all by himself.
It was really a cute site. I was busy in the house, but had to sneak out for a couple pictures!
It's been awhile since I blogged. The good news is I found I have more readers than I thought! People have asked where I've been or if I've quit blogging. To tell you the truth.... my mind is constantly thinking "oh, I should add this to my blog", but then time gets away from me & I forget.
Davis is really growing up. He's officially 3 1/2 & will gladly tell anyone who asks him his age! For some reason, he wants to be 4 so badly he can't stand it.
He started school & soccer in September. He loves loves loves school.
It's so cute & he's really learning so much. He knows the Pledge & the Pledge to the Christian flag. He thinks we need to say it every morning at home, too! So, we've started doing that at home. We have a mini American flag, but are on the look for a Christian flag. If anyone knows where I can find one, please let me know.
Danny & I really would appreciate everyones prayers right now & we're searching for the Lord's direction in our lives. We're daily seeking his will & guidance right now.
I'll post more pics & stories later.

My purse

Last night as I was blogging & reading other blogs that mean so much to me, Danny asked if I'd blogged about my purse. HMMM... funny question, I mean I love my purse , but enough to blog about it?
I rolled my eyes & went on reading the other blogs. I went to a blog, that I have been following for quite some time. It's a wonderfully God fearing lady who has been through so much & I feel like we're best friends. One of her latest blogs just happen to have a pic of her Coach bag. Now, this caught my attention.
You see, I've been wanting a Coach purse for a long time. I've wanted one every Christmas & birthday for the past few years. My problem was I couldn't find one that I wanted badly enough to pay that much money for.
For Mother's Day & my birthday, Danny gave me money to spend however I want. I was having trouble finding clothes that fitted me, were my style, etc. I was walking through the mall alone one day & stopped in Coach. I fell in love w/ their new line of bags.
Long story short, I am now the proud owner of a Coach bag!
Her entry wasn't about showing off her new bag, but about sacrifices & a lesson God put in front of her for her 3 little girls.
Something she said really made me think. She said that she knows God cares more about her & how she lives her life than what kind of purse she carries. She doesn't believe owning a Coach bag makes her less of a Christian, nor does it make her a better one.
I love my new bag, it's so cute, so pink, & mine. I don't have to share it w/ diapers, Hot Wheels, & sippy cups. I get it all to myself. That is nice, but what was better was the reality check of her blog.
So, in short I got a new purse! HAHA

We've adopted!

OK, so maybe that title is a little misleading. But, we have adopted... we adopted a soldier. I am so excited!!
He is stationed in Kuwait & I will be his 'angel' during his deployment.
He has emailed me once to thank me for caring enough to sign up for this. I emailed him back, have written a small letter & sent him a package.
His care package isn't much, b/c I'm not really sure what all he likes, wants, & needs. I sent some trail mix, baby wipes, toothpaste, toothbrush, raisins, tissues, gum, & some other misc items.
I also sent a little survey that asks all kinds of questions about himself & what he has access to & likes. I had downloaded it from the site I signed up for.
I had been looking for a way to pen pal & support our troops that were over seas. Every outreach I found allowed me to send packages or make donations, but none allowed me to know my soldier. I believe w/ all my heart that God has lead me to him. It's exactly what I need to keep me busy & my mind off babies.
I'm also so excited that I can be his prayer warrior! That makes me happy knowing that I'm committing to pray for him every chance I get to go before the Lord. That is so humbling!
I checked the temp in Kuwait for tomorrow & it's going to be 106! SHEWWW.... I guess I have less to complain about than I thought.
If anyone would like to get involved w/ this outreach, please email me. I'd love to share the details w/ you. Also, if you can't commit to sending care packages, they need people to write letters to the troop while they wait to be adopted.

Long time, no blog....

So as usual, it's been awhile since my last blog. I have so much in my head I want to say, to document, to remember.... it's fleeting & I find it hard to put pen to paper (if you will).
On May 21st we should have been celebrating a very exciting time in our lives. In a perfect world we'd be in the hospital w/ our new baby. Instead it was a very sad day for us. Danny stayed home w/ Davis & me, which was really nice. A very dear sweet friend ordered a beautiful peace lily from a local florist for us.
That potted plant was exactly what I needed. When someone asks me how they can be praying for me, which I think is one of the sweetest questions anyone can ask, I ask that they pray for our peace. Peace w/ possibly having only 1 child, peace w/ the fertility options laid out in front of us, & peace w/ the option of adopting.
My hardest days are when some unknowing excited friend or neighbor announces so happily that that are having a baby. I smile & try to remember to say 'congrats', but leave feeling sad.
I'm trying my hardest to be patient, find peace, & work through these issues. I can say that I am so happy for my friends who are pregnant. I love to share in their joy & can't wait to meet the babies. It's just hard when the news is broken to me. Once I have time to process the info & have a good cry, I'm OK.
Hopefully the next entry won't be so far between.... Till then

Some Aunts should just stay away...

Early this morning around 1 am my least favorite aunt came for a visit. There had been warning signs, so my body was expecting her. I guess I should have called my heart.
For some reason, this is one of the hardest non pregnant cycles yet. It's been over 2 years that we've been actively trying for a baby to bring home. This was our last chance for a 2008 baby. I'm getting closer to that big 3-0. Davis is getting so big & maturing so fast. These are all reasons why my heart is breaking so bad this cycle. I just KNEW w/ everything in me we would bring a baby home in December.
Yesterday I was doing some spring cleaning to keep my mind off things. Danny & Davis were outside doing whatever it is that boys do. I kept listing to Mercy Me 'Bring On The Rain'. In the song he sings:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I just kept listing to that song & crying. I want so badly His glory over my desire, but this is so hard.
A guy Danny works with told him for me to just relax.......Yea, we tried that, didn't work! NEXT IDEA? I'm not sure if I've said this before, but if someone has cancer do you tell them to relax? No, b/c they have a medical condition that a bubble bath won't help, guess what? So do I.
Also, to add to my day, I checked in on another girl's infertility blog I browse from time to time. Well, she's no longer barren. Deep in my heart I'm happy for her, happy for this experience she's going through. But, when I read it all I could do is cry!
For now, if you could, please pray for peace. I'm just want peace.

Spring time

There are ways you can tell spring is here... Easter lilies bloom, short sleeves come out of the attic, & lawn mowers come out of the garage. But, to me the declaration of spring is grass stains! We went to the park to play & came home with proof of the changing season!
I love this time of year. Everything is so fresh. Everywhere you look are pinks, yellows, polka dots, & floral patterns. The smell of fresh rain, the breeze from the open window are what makes this season so great to me.
I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but in the Barnes' house it's the same old story, just a different day & a higher dose of clomid.
With each month on clomid I experience symptoms worse than the previous month. The depression really hit me hard this cycle & it's been hard to blog b/c nothing is new.
I posted a pic of Davis, Jake, & Josh on Easter. They are such handsome little guys & have so much fun together.
I want to post more pics, so I'll be back this weekend for a more detailed blog.

Davis turns 3!!

I

Our little baby turned 3 years old. We just can't believe how time flies.
We celebrated with a birthday party at Kazoing Party & Play. Davis had lots of friends & family join us to help make his day special.
He's been seeing other kids w/ these hand held games & he was very interested in them. He received some gift cards for his birthday, so we got him a Leapster hand hand game. He looks like such a big boy as he races Lighting McQueen around the course. I just get amazed watching him play.
Our lives have changed so much over the past 3 years. Parenthood really makes you see all the important things in life. We are so thankful for our little guy & wouldn't trade him for all the money in the world.
I know all parents think that their child is smart, but man Davis is so smart. He catches on to things so quickly. His memory amazes us.
One thing he does is sing 'In my life' by The Beatles. I'm going to try & get video of it & post it to share w/ everyone. It's so cute!

The stitch comes out!

Today Danny took Davis to see Dr Jill to get his 1 little stitch taken out. I choose not to go b/c I'm watching the Mia & Cole (my cousin's 6 month old twins). I also thought it would be fun for Daddy & Davis to get some time together.
Davis & I talked about what was going to happen before the visit. We talked about how Dr Jill would take that 1 stitch out to make his nose all better. How Dr Jill would look into his eyes (he's been blinking like his eyes are dry) & how she'd look in his ears (I'm paranoid when it comes to ear infections). Davis was such a big boy! No tears or anything. I think he did better than his Mommy would have if she had to have stitches removed.
Davis now weighs 32 lbs! WOW! He's ready for a big boy booster seat. We've been letting him sit in one that I had for a little girl I was babysitting for b/c I had weighed him at home & knew he was over 30 lbs. He's excited to be in this big boy stage. Maybe he'll get a new booster seat for his birthday!
As for his eyes, Jill said it was allergies & gave him Zaditor rx eye drops to help w/ the dryness. He already takes Singulair for his allergies.
The whole eye thing has been a drama for us, too. Last Sunday we noticed the blinking was getting worse & Papaw even questioned what was going on. I became paranoid & called Pediatric Acute Care. They told me he was probably having eye seizures & theres nothing they can do. We should see our pediatrician & she'll send him to a neurologist. OK, SERIOUSLY? Was that needed? I mean I'm already paranoid, why feed it? I called Jill as soon as I hung up. She said that's not at all what she would have suspected & to watch him. If it gets worse, then bring him in. She was hesitate to have us come in b/c of flu season. She said we'd leave w/ a lot more than we came with. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became!
For those of you who don't know, I was a Nanny for Jill up until around October of this year. I wanted to be home w/ Davis full time. She's our pediatrician, I wonder what I would do if I didn't have her as my personal on call DR!
Tomorrow is Little D's 3rd birthday! I'm so excited for him as we have a fun filled day planned. I'm a nut w/ birthdays & think they should always be a big deal. We are so THANKFUL to God for not only giving us this wonderful little guy, but allowing us to nourish, love, & teach him for the past 3 years. It's an amazing charge & we're honored to have it.
The picture is Davis in the Dr's office w/ his sucker after he got his stitch out.

It's a first....

Tonight as we are in the final stretch of being 2, we had yet another first!!
Davis received his 1st stitch!
Danny & Davis were playing forts in Davis' room & I was in my bathroom. Davis told Daddy he was going to go kiss Bowie 'night night' & would 'be right back'. I heard a growl, a louder growl & then a bark. Davis started crying. Now this isn't too abnormal b/c the dogs & Davis fight a lot & we hear these sounds.
This was a little different b/c his cry wasn't as dramatic as usual. I ran in there & he was holding his face. Bowie nipped his nose.
We weren't even sure we needed to go to the ER. I called Pediatric Acute Care & they suggested we go to either Baptist Hospital East (if they have a Pediatrician on staff tonight) or Kosair Children's Hospital. I called BHE & they do have a Ped on staff in the ER at all times.
Little D cried most of the way there. He kept saying "I don't go to DR" & "I don't wike hopital". He said "I feel better, Mommy". My heart was breaking, but I'm more of a 'better to be safe than sorry' type of gal.
We got to the ER & was taken back to the Ped ER pretty quickly. The nurse who saw him didn't think he would need any stitches. A few other nurses came in to see him & check out his nose. One of them asked what happened & he was so cute I could cry! He said "playin' fort w/ Daddy, gotta give Bow kisses in blue room, he bite me". I couldn't have explained it any better.
He was such a trooper. When the Dr came in he decided that he would feel better if he had just 1 stitch. I asked about the glue stitches, but b/c of bacteria w/ a bite he prefers to do the regular stitch.
They had to put some numbing solution on his nose & let it sit for 15 mins before doing the stitch. Davis did so well, during all this.
When they came to do the stitch, Mommy didn't do as well. My poor baby only cried for a second & then they were done.
When we got home & things were settled & I was tucking him in bed I told him how proud I am of him & what a big boy he is. He said "Mommy, I cried". It just broke my heart. I asked if he cried b/c it hurt & he said "Yes, my nose". I said, it's OK even big boys cry when it hurts!
One of the ER techs gave him a stuffed zebra & we named him 'stitch'. He slept w/ him tonight!

Before I was a Mom

I read this in an adoption newsletter that I get & wanted to share....

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plans were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind & thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes & cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know the bond between a mother & her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important & happy.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure everything
was okay.
I had never knows the warmth, joy, love, heartache, wonderment, or satisfaction of being a
Mom.


I can relate to so much of this. Being Davis' Mommy is the most important job I'll ever have.

When we had Davis we knew he was a miracle. All babies are a gift from our Father & are miracles, but we knew this baby needed something extra to get here. We are now realizing what a miracle he is. My body may never create another baby b/c it's broken. I haven't blogged much b/c this is hard for me & I don't know what to say. I know I've shut down about talking about it b/c I don't know what is going to happen. I can say that Danny & I are talking about adoption & praying about what to do next.

The Story of Prince Davis & his throne!

On Friday I thought I'd give this whole potty thing another try with Davis. I've been trying every few weeks, with absolutely no luck at all. He was showing no interest & ended up just frustrating me.
Friday morning we got up & I put a pair of Thomas undies on him & he just took to the potty like he's been doing this forever. Friday, Saturday, & Sunday we had some probs w/ spraying. He & I just couldn't figure out how to do it w/o making a huge mess.
He's had a few hiccups along the way, but they are accidents & he really tries to get to the potty. I'm so proud of him I could just burst. I wish I had a secret as to what worked, I guess just try, try, try, try again, & be patient!
Friday night after Danny got home from work we took Davis to Target. He got some boxer briefs & Mickey Mouse Clubhouse undies. It wasn't his first choice, but the only ones that they had in his size.
We then went to Moe's & had dinner. Davis did so well. He went potty at Moe's in the big boy potty & was so proud of himself.
On Saturday we had an Upward basketball game & Davis did great. We then went to Qdoba for lunch & then to the hospital to see Troy. Davis went potty at the hospital. Davis then fell asleep in the car & Danny & I were out looking for his bedroom furniture, so we just let him sleep while I went in to the stores.
After he woke up, we stopped at the Humane Society & Davis had his first accident there. He just got so excited seeing all the puppies play & chase him.
I guess now, he's officially a big boy. Makes me really sad that he's not my baby anymore. It's so hard to believe he'll be 3, one month from tomorrow.

Blogging is not always fun!

I have struggled w/ my next blog for the past few days. Should I blog? Should some things be kept to myself? That is my question.
I started this whole blogging thing for 2 reasons. Reason 1 was for therapy. It's therapeutic to document my journey. Reason 2 was to document this journey. It's a roller coaster to say the least. As time passes I seem to forget drug amounts, times, & struggles. I want to remember this journey, no matter the outcome.
So, I decided that sometimes it's not fun to blog. Everything isn't encouraging, sometimes it's painful & hard.
On Monday Danny took in a semen sample for a semen analyst (s/a) & we got the results back on Wednesday. The count was awesome. So encouraging for us. Normal is 20 million & his was 91 million. That really did something for his ego. The motility (how many move) was normal. However, the morphility (the shape) was a little off. The average man has 12% normal sperm (morphility) & Danny's is 8%. They're not overly worried. Hey... I did get preg twice!
On Thursday I went back to the RE's office & saw Ms Devine (Dr Homm's PA) to discuss my follistim injections & get instructions. I knew they were expensive ($4000 a month), but insurance covers that, so I wasn't worried.
She started talking about IUI (insemination) to increase our chances of conceiving. The average couple has a 20% chance of conceiving in any given month. With the shots it increases to 25% & w/ IUI it would increase to about 30-33%.
We went to the business office to discuss costs. The IUI would cost us $1332 plus $150 for sperm prep. After Danny I left we discussed our options.
We had a few sticking points to consider:
A) We did get preg twice on clomid alone, so is there a need for IUI right now?
B) Would we be in God's will? If so, is this where we're being lead?
C) Cost.... do we want to spend that money right now? We would want to save for it rather than putting it on a credit card.
After much discussing, we came to the conclusion we'd do just the injections for a couple months & if they don't work out then we'll move on to either the IUI or adoption, depending on where God leads us.
The RE's office called to say that my ins (medco) won't pay for the follistim (I had already gotten it approved), but would pay for medopur injections. I was told it was the same.
Later that night the fertility pharmacy called to put my order in & get my injections to me. My total cost for the injections, endo cream, HCG trigger shot, sharps container, & the needles would be $152.88. We were pleasantly surprised & I paid w/ my debit card over the phone.
After hanging up, I told Danny I'd call the RE on Fri (today). He was looking through my folder filled w/ info from the Dr's office. Then... it happened.....
We realized that the IUI does cost the $1332+, but even for the timed intercourse method it was $1120 to cover the office visits, ultrasounds, & estradiols. That was not what we were expecting. So, now we're in limbo. Our only option is to save for the next couple months to be able to pay for it.
I'm so heart broken. I don't know what to do. It's hard b/c I became so excited & now we're back to square one.
So, that's my update!

Where we are now.

I went to my post-op appt with Dr Homm on Monday. It appears everything is fine since the surgery. He didn't want to talk about the injections again b/c he needs a semen analyst from Danny before going any farther. If there is a prob there, then he would want to talk about IUI instead of shots.
I left completely stressed. I was upset w/ Danny for not getting this done sooner. I was upset w/ myself for not encouraging him to do it.
He is getting it done this week & things are going to be fine. When I left the office I just saw months passing by w/o getting preg! Now, I'm feeling better. I'm confident the s/a will be ok & we can move on to the follistim injections.
Before the surgery I wanted to get started back on running, but once I had the surgery I lost interest in it & everything. I'm feeling so much better now. I am excited to be back to myself again! YAH for me!

If it's not one thing..... (ya know the rest)

As soon as I started feeling better from the surgery, I'm hit w/ this awful cold. My fever & body aches started last night. The fever finally broke this eveing.
Davis went over to Nana & Papaw's b/c Daddy had a stomach bug. I just pray that little D doesn't get sick from us.
Danny went over to the store & bought things to sanitize the house. We bought some Febreeze anti-microbial, Clorox wipes, & more hand gel. I think we've cleaned the house of our bugs & will be ready for Davis to come home tomorrow.

On a happy note........ After my surgery I had some light spotting which I was told was normal. Then on Thursday AF came. I called Dr Homm to verify that I could consider this cycle day 1. They confirmed that I could, but no clomid or injections this round. They said my body needs 1 full cycle to heal before starting more meds. However, I can still ttc on my own. WOW, this is such good news for us. I've never had a normal cycle w/o clomid. We pray that we get our miracle & have an October baby this year. Please be in prayer for us this month!

Friday

I woke up at 3am this morning. I was able to walk down the hall on my own. This was a good sign b/c Danny had been assisting me in getting in & out of bed. I went to the fridge to get a water, but once I made it back to my bed the pain began. It was so bad, I wasn't able to get into bed. I called for Danny & he helped me into bed, gave me my vicodin & layed w/ me. The pain did not cease. He got in the shower & I called Dr Homm's office. The answering machine gave a pager # for emergency use only. I felt this was an emergency.
I called the pager & left my #. After 20 mins, no one had called back. I paged again & waited. My pain was only getting worse. I called Lynn to see if Whitney (she's a nanny & her boss is a high risk ob/gyn) had left for work yet. Lynn gave me Whitney's cell #. She was comforting and asked me to call Jewish Hospital for instructions.
Once I got Jewish on the phone, Kit Devine (Dr Homm's PA) beeped in. She told me to take 2 vicodin as needed. If that didn't help, to give her a call.
Gotta love the vicodin! I felt much better, but spent the rest of the day in bed.
I did get up around 5 for a bit. Danny had to run to Wal-Mart & I felt Davis & I would be OK long enough for him to go. Well, with everything that was going on, Bowie decided to jump into my lap (he's 65 lbs) & start having a seizure. The pain began again. All I could do was push him in the floor. I felt bad for the poor little dog, but what else was I to do?

I've got pics to post of my ovaries.... hopefully, I'll get those up tomorrow.

Day 1- Surgery Day

Today is the day of my surgery. Not as nervous as I thought I'd be. I'm more worried about Davis & how he's going to do today w/ Granny.
We get to Jewish East at 9:30 am. I end up waiting out in the lobby for over a hour to be called back for prep. During that time I was getting nervous, b/c I thought they had forgot about me.
When they did finally call me back, they took me to this fancy hotel like room. It was so nice. It had shiny hardwoood floors, a private bath w/ shower, a flatscreen tv, a closet, & my own phone.
They went through the basic medical questions & got me changed. They had to do a blood test to check for pregnancy (standard precedure) before starting the surgery. The nurse couldn't get the needle in, so they asked the anesthesioliogist to do it. He tried 4 times in my left hand & then moved on to my right hand. He ended up giving me a shot to numb my right hand, so he could poke around some more. Eventually, he got the blood & started my IVS.
They then called Danny & my Nanny into the room. It wasn't long that I was taken back into surgery. I don't remember much about that. I remember being moved onto the operating table & then I was out.
When I woke up from surgery in the recovery room, I was in so much pain. They gave me a shot of something & it helped. I then was sent back to my original room. Surgery lasted longer than expected 1 1/2 hours to be exact.
Dr Homm found that my left ovary was not in the correct position. It was pretty high up & over to my side. Plus, it was in a sac. So, if I did ovulate, it wouldn't do me any good.
I got a little sick after I came out of surgery. What else is new? I just don't think I do well on pain meds.
I came home & went to bed!


Footnote-
I went back & dated the next few entries on the date they happened, to keep the events straight in my head. I'll be posting more on my recovery in the next few posts.

Less than a week away....

I went to the RE (fertiltiy specialist) today for my pre-op appt. Everything was fine, they took blood to see if I'm preg (I'm not) & talked with me about the surgery. So, I'm less than a week away of having this done. I'm excited to have it over & get back to ttc, but nervous at the same time. They have me a RX for vicadin & some phenadran in case I get sick.
Time doesn't go by any faster than it does to a women ttc. Weeks turn into months & months turn into years so quickly. It really makes me sad to think about it.
Davis is so funny. The past few months he's had an imaginary friend/monster. He has made him up all by himself. I haven't suggested or lead him to do this. This is what I know about the monster.... his name is Head.... he's blue....he's bigger than Mommy, but not as big as Danny.... he's friendly..... he sleeps in the floor... he can drive & his car is green.... he likes strawberry Pop Tarts.
He loves monsters. I'm not sure if it's b/c of the movie Monster's Inc or what. But, since Halloween he has a love for monsters. Really funny kid!
The picture above is of Davis & Papaw on December 23 at church. He sure does love his Papaw.

Clomid- the gateway drug.

They say that pot is the gateway drug to bigger, stronger street drugs.
In my world, clomid is the gateway drug to bigger, stronger RX drugs for infertiltiy. I still can't believe my clomid days are over. I conceived twice while taking, so I do have a soft spot for it.
There are so many side effects, that my RE doesn't want me to take it too long. One side effect that I've noticed is blury vision. It comes & goes, but I know people who share the same story & side effects. The longer I'm off it, the better it gets.
I go in on Friday for my pre-op for the L & H surgery. I'm nervous, but ready to get it done & start injections. I wasn't sure how to pray. Should I pray for everything to be OK? Should I pray for them to find something & 'fix' the prob? I've decided to just pray as I always do.......Dear God, allow me to become pregnant & carry my baby full term. Allow my baby to be healthy!
Sometime this month I'll start my follistim injections. FUN stuff here. I'm dreading giving myself a shot everyday & hope Danny will be able to do it. We're so excited b/c we did find out that insurance covers the injections. That's always good news. We will have out of pocket expenses for the surgery & we won't know how much till it's over.
Danny, Davis, & I didn't do too much for New Year's Eve. We just stayed in & had a quite night. It was relaxing, but I will say I miss being out w/ friends.